I could easily make a dozen posts on the stuff I found on my bureau alone. But I'll try to do this in groups.
One of the more glaring types of clutter you might find are things that are edible, in places where you should only expect to find non-edible items. Even the types of consumable items that don't seem to have an expiration date, suddenly DO look "expired" in this situation. It's the "ewww!" factor, for me anyways.
- Pepermint candy. I must have grabbed this from a restaurant when I was leaving, shoved it in my pocket, then took it out and left it on the bureau before I went to sleep that night. Then it got buried, like a fossil.
- Cough drop. It reminds me of Rich Hall's Sniglet called "Lynthlyptus", defined as "Any cough drop found in one's pocket after a few days".
- Bottle of Nose-Spray. Yes, I know, you can't eat nose spray. But I figured I'd list this here, just for the "ewww" factor. And not just because I just used the words "eat" "nose" and "spray" in the same sentence in that order. Two things I learned about Afrin 12-hour nose spray: 1) it works, but 2) it's physically addictive. When the package says "Do not use this product for more than 2-3 days", they mean it. Keep using for more than that, and you can't clear your nose without it. Thankfully, I haven't used it in years. I could easily fill a blog post talking about my history of nasal problems, the surgery for my deviated septum, what products I've taken since then, etc., but I'm not going to. I'm only going to say this: the Afrin bottle here had an expiration date of December 2008. Afrin, I banish thee!
- Bag of Candy-coated Almonds. These were a take-home gift at a wedding. Or whatever the term is for those things. There was a little poem or writing attached that explained the symbolic significance of the candies and why there were that number in the bag, etc. I have plenty of photos from that wedding, so I sure don't need a sack of stale nuts. "What the hell IS this?" asked my wife. "Almonds", I replied. Then the exchange went something like this:
"When the hell did you get them?"
"You don't want to know."
"I told you, you don't want to know."
"Just tell me! More than ten years ago?"
"No, I CAN say that they're less than ten years old."
"What are they from?"
"Sigh...Dave and [Dave's wife's name]'s wedding."
"Dave [last name]?"
"Yes, that Dave."
"When did he get married?!?"
"I dunno. Uh, five years ago? Six years ago?"
"Hey, I TOLD you that you didn't want to know!"