A Place for My Stuff

Thoughts on Gary Coleman (1968-2010)

And no, I'm not going to attempt to insert his catchphrase from Diff'rent Strokes in this blog somewhere.

Growing up in the 80s, I remember Arnold Drummond being the kid so many of us wanted to be. Not so much because the character was rich, but because he was fast with the put-downs and witty sarcasm, and would get away with it. It's the same reason I liked Scott Schwartz in The Toy and Kidco.The popularity of the show led to his older movies like Jimmy the Kid getting more reruns on HBO and what not.

Frankly I'm surprised he didn't die from suicide. And he admitted to attempting it before. Granted there are lots of 80s comedy sitcom actors whose careers never revived because they'll forever be remembered as "that kid from that show". But Coleman's growth stunt just further compounded it. It didn't matter how old he got, what roles he landed, or what kind of career in politics he wanted to sincerely get into. The world was never going to see him as anybody but lil' ten year-old Arnold.

While I'm not saying this excuses him from breaking the law, I can sure understand why he seemed so pissed off and disillusioned in every interview over the last 20 years. It's too bad. He sure had some funny moments even as an adult.

 

This Looks Like a Mini Flea Market

Finding some stranger stuff, I figured I'd put them together for a group photo:

1. Colored hair elastics.  I don't use these.  I only use black hair elastics, because my hair is black.  My girlfriend doesn't use them either.  Out you go.
2. Blank metal disc.  What this went to or was part of, I have no idea.
3. Rubber stopper for a big flask, I think.  Not sure why I have this either, even though I've had it for years.  It can join the other mentioned items in the trash though.
4. Friday's "30" Matches.  30th anniversary, was it?  Don't remember.  I have tons of other matches to get rid of too, but that's a story for another blog.
5. Colored paper clips and an unidentified bolt.  Paper clips so groovy, they were too nice to use!  Oh well.  They're not too nice to throw away now.
6. Pushpins. I've used these to hold up various frames and what not around the place.  Though most of these are bent or have the plastic chipped.  No sense in trying to reuse them.
   
7. American Flag Patch.  Probably from my Boy Scout uniform.  Too bad it wasn't still 2001, when flags were even outselling porn.  I'll put this in the "to sell" bin.
8. E-COM pin.  By father got this at some business convention or another back in the 80s.  I collected pins at the time, so he gave it to me.  I don't know if it's even the same "E-COM" we know today.  Actually, a quick search on the web shows that there are several different companies with that name.
9. Canadian flag pin.  I am ethnically Canadian, but after my most recent trip there, I've come to really hate Canada.
10. Laser pointer battery.  Or at least that's what I think it is.  I remember buying some really cheap laser pointer for a dollar at a flea market a few years back.  After I brought it, I realized why it was only a dollar.  The thing was a piece of crap.  Sometimes it would light, sometimes it wouldn't.  I have a much better one (which I thankfully found during this move), so there's no need for this one.
11. Ancient Chinese Money Coin Replica.  I bought this in grammar school on a field trip to a museum.  It had a piece of rawhide too, so you could wear it.  I did.  Some kids made fun of me.  And I rightfully told them off.  Fuckers.  Even some kids can't appreciate the eclectic.  Though I brought it in to show some kids in 6th grade.  My classmate Peter thought it looked like "A Gumby without arms".
12. Dice. There was an odd store in my neighborhood called Luleigh's, or something like that.  They sold an assortment of stationary, statues, and strange junk.  I was one of the only stores in my part of town where you could go looking, hoping to see something new.  One time they had a bunch of red dice for sale, really cheap.  My brother and I bought a bunch.  These are some of those dice.  A lot of them were misshapen or had some of the numbers melted off.  Oh well, it was a fun novelty at the time.
13. Cheap binoculars.  I remember selling these from the dreaded Tom Watt Showcase.  These and the dice are going into the "sell" bin.
14. Sunglasses.  I bought these some time around 1986, most likely at a flea market or this place in Wiers Beach New Hampshire where they sold $2 glasses.  I wore them a lot as a kid.  They managed to not break.  Andthey even still fit

Note also the Ronnie James Dio autograph on the lower left.  The first i got from him.

And finally:

15. 'Yes & Know' Invisible Ink pen.  I liked these books as a kid, and I still like them now.  Lee Publications makes a number of puzzles and games that make use of invisible ink, and comes with a pen or two like this that you use to reveal the answers.  They're sold at a lot of truck stops, primarily I suppose to keep kids occupied when they're stuck on long road trips with their parents.  But they're not just puzzles for kids; they make stuff like logic puzzles too.  Regardless one pen like this does me no good.  If you buy a new book, they give you a pen in it anyway. One last note on the Yes & Know pens.  My brother and I fondly remember that the books explained to "Use only short, light strokes.  Never in a circular grinding motion."  For us, this always conjured the hilarious image of some hyperactive kid, gritting his teeth, and actually stirring and grinding the pen against the page like that.  Oh well, guess you had to be there.

Philanthropy Clutter

The title of this blog entry only refers to the first entry here, but I think it's a topic worth bringing up.  Sometimes we keep junk around because it's related to some good cause, and we'd feel like cold-hearted bastards for throwing it away.  But if it's already fulfilled its duties, you're not using, and it really serves no purpose now, it may be time to gracefully pitch it.

• Red AIDS ribbon (with safety pin). I bought this at the bar one night when somebody was selling them for AIDS awareness.  It's hard throwing away things like this, because it makes you feel like you're some uncaring myopic schmuck.  But, I thought about it.  Am I going to wear this again?  No.  Didn't the dollar I contributed already help by now?  Yes.  So should I feel one bit guilty about throwing this away?  No.

And on to the other oddities:

• Flash Cards for Key Signatures.  I drew these up when I was learning how to identify the 12 different key signatures in music theory.  I already know them now, so this isn't even a "I'll do this someday" thing for me.  Into the trash you go.
• Small sheets of cassette tape labels.  Oh please.
• More Breathe-Right strips.  Man, these are everywhere!  And I don't use them!
• Take-Out Menus.  I might have had an excuse to keep these if I wasn't moving.  But I am moving.  No sense in keeping around menus to places that won't be local any more.  I did however find a menu for a coffee shop that's long gone, but that I liked a lot.  It was fun to read that again.

How Much Does the Sun Make It Run for Fun? None.

Decluttering WITH my girlfriend helping me has been quite a challenge.  Because now I had to answer at point blank in front of somebody else "WHAT is this?"  Then I'd have to answer "WHY do you have this?"

The radiometer is a nice little science gadget.  I first saw when when I was a kid, at my friend Cara G's house.  Her parents were well-off and she went to a private school, as was the case with the one other black family on the street (make of that what you will).  So I'm in her bedroom and see one of these things.  I ask what it is.  She says, "Oh, when this is put next to light, it spins around."  And indeed, it did.

So some 25-30 years later, here I am in my own home.  And my girlfriend sees the radiometer.  She asks what it is.  And I tell her.  Then I hold it up to the light and...it doesn't work.  So she naturally doesn't believe me.  "No, wait." I said.  I try with a flash light, holding it up to other light bulbs, and tried the next day with sunlight.  It didn't turn.  I'm guessing that the vacuum inside was lost at some point.  Regardless, it didn't work.  It's best if I throw this away, rather than seeing it wind up in the hands of some kid who erroneously ends up being disappointed with science as a result.

"Is this supposed to be a SNAKE?" she asked with disgust.

Yes, it was a cobra made out of gimp.  If you went to summer camp, then you know about gimp.  You weaved things with it.  This particular one was given to me half-jokingly from my brother's friend upon my graduation.  He might have been drunk at the time he gave it, I can't remember.

So I explained this to her.  "Do you need it?"  Well that was kind of a loaded question.  I suppose I could rationalize away not "needing" some of the things i own and like.  But yeah, I guess I could ditch this one.

Let's see, what else do we have here.  The name and contact info of a guy I bought a bass guitar from several years ago, and have long since ended up trading in myself.  And no, the guy himself wasn't "Steve Bailey-looking".  The bass was like one of the models used by bassist Steve Bailey.

While looking through other stacks of things, she pulled out some papers and said.  "There's even a blank piece of paper here.  What the hell are you saving this for!"  And threw it away.  I took it back and said "No, this isn't a blank."  I pointed to it and explained.  "This is a picture of two polar bears eating marshmallows during a snowstorm."  "Oh bullSHIT!" she said. 

Well at least *I* thought it was funny.

Moving sucks!

By the time you read this, I will have already moved to my new place.  In case you couldn't tell, the posts from the past several weeks were made in advance and scheduled to post pretty much every other day.  It was easier for me to just sit for a day and do this all at once.  But just pretend for the moment that I'm still getting ready to do the final move.

In the moving process, I've no doubt thrown out a lot more stuff as you've been reading.  But what kills me is that I'm still taking a lot of clutter with me.  I have at least 3 boxes of stuff-to-sell that I've either been unable to sell on eBay, or just never got around to putting up there.  Ideally, I should have gotten rid of all that well before the move.  But it's too late for that now.  Stay tuned this summer for a few posts of mine selling at flea markets.  I'm going to need to do that!

Actually, before THAT even happens, I'm no doubt going to be going through clutter after the move.  When I moved into my last apartment, There were times when I just threw a bunch of boxes together and figured "I'll go through this stuff later".  Well, the later got later and later until it never came.  I don't want to repeat that.

In the meantime, enjoy this "moving" clip from Mr. Show:

Viva Las Clutter

I love Las Vegas.  It's my favorite city in the world.  And when you vacation somewhere, you want to bring it all back.  Often that winds up being clutter.  Here are a few Vegas oddities I found around my place:

   

• Expired coupons.  The girlfriend got excited at first.  "Ooh, coupon for Thunder Down Under!! I wanna go next time we're there!"  Then it took a devastating u-turn.  "What?!? Expired 5 years ago?  Jesus Christ, why do you still have these?"  I didn't have an answer for that.  Just throw the damn things away, dearest.
• Fancy bag.  Some shops you buy things at, and they give you a very nice, foldable shopping bag.  These are great for packing birthday presents in, IF they don't have a logo on the side.  Otherwise, it's one of those things you keep because it's just "too good" to throw away as if it was a plain ol' plastic shopping bag.  But eventually you have to come to terms with things like these that you'll never use, and let them die a graceful death.
• Catalogs (not pictured).  Usually when you go to Las Vegas, you can pick up an entire what-to-do magazine.  Which is why I'm throwing out the old ones.  It had its usefulness that week, now it's time to get rid of it.  Carefully though I flipped through, making sure I wasn't throwing out my autographed Penn & Teller stuff, tucked away on one side.
• Call girl cards/fliers.  When you walk down Las Vegas Boulevard, people on the street are handing you these left and right.  You can easily wind up with 80 of them in less than a few days.  These aren't prostitutes though; they're private dancers, who reportedly keep asking for more and more money when you hire them, but for no touchy-touchy.  Contrary to popular misconception, prostitution is NOT legal in Las Vegas.  In other parts of Nevada, it is.  And I fully condone legalized prostitution.  Alas, as much as I like the x-rated novelty here, 80 cards that you're not going to use for anything, is simply junk.  Bye-bye, beauties.

(I do however make a point of sticking some of these in the hotel room Bible.  Especially in the book "Song of Solomon" a.k.a. "Song of Songs", which is pretty much soft-core porn.  I figured if anybody is actually turning to that part anyway, I might as well help them along.)

My Contribution for "Draw Mohammad" Day

For those who haven't heard yet, it's "Draw Mohammad" Day.  I've heard though that not only is drawing a human depiction of Mohammad is against Islam, but ANY sort of tangible depiction of him is a no-no.  So today, I'd like to not only show you photos of the latest things I got rid of, but declare them to be depictions of Mohammad.

Why am I doing this today?  To join the others in saying that no group should ever be free from satire.  Equally important: we shouldn't put a limits on free speech just because we might offend somebody.  Every ideological group is bound to be offended at some time or another, but nobody has the inherent right to never be offended.  Islam does not get special treatment. 

"But Bill, not all Muslims are terrorists."  Well, no kidding.  But even if it's only 1% of Muslims who harbor these anti-USA, anti-all-non-Muslim sentiments, we're still talking about 14 million people.  If there wasn't such a violent stink over what Danish cartoonists have done, there wouldn't have BEEN a "Draw Mohammad Day" in the first place.

"But Bill, those terrorists aren't REAL Muslims. Islam is the religion of peace." Sorry, but no.  You don't get to redefine "Muslim" to only refer to only the well-behaved ones.  If they're killing people in the name of Allah, abiding by all of the dietary and clothing laws in the Koran, facing Mecca five times a day for prayer, and using passages from the Koran to directly justify their actions...then that means their religion is Islam, whether you like it or not.  By definition, that makes them Muslims too.

Now then, let's have a look:

I have long hair, and when you have long hair, it gets around.  After moving most of the stuff out of my old apartment, I scraped my shoe along the floor in those impossible-to-vacuum places.  I decided to see just how big of a hairball I could scrape up.  The case on the lower left is the size of a CD cases.  I purposely put it there so that you could get an idea of the size of Mohammad (the hairball). 

The CD case isn't actually a CD case, though.  When you open it, the tray holds a 3.5" floppy disc.  (And just when I thought I got rid of them!)  I've never seen another case like this before.  But it was a resume-writing program I remember buying in college.  Well needless to say, I haven't used it in years.  And if I did want such a thing again, I'm sure I could find a superior one and buy it for less.

And finally, you see Allah, transcended here as a paper tube.  I had a lot of these around, hiding behind my forced-open bedroom door.  No reason for it.  Out you go.

Before I go, I'd like to recommend the site "Islam: the Religion of Peace (and a whole stack of dead bodies)."

"We laugh at your religion, you people of the sand"

- Dio, song "The Man Who Would Be King"

Rock on...to the trash!

Some other musical oddities I found along with the PMRC stickers:

• The backing board to the ZZ Top key chain I bought at their concert, almost 20 years ago.  I still have the key chain.  So why did I hang on to this?  I guess it's because you don't see an off-the-rack package like this with the band logo on it.  Or maybe I was going to cut it out and stick it in the case of a mix.  Maybe it was because it was their "Recycler" tour.  Maybe my Head's In Mississippi.  Who the hell knows. 

• Band flier.  Yes kids, back in the days before every home had the internet (let alone before people all knew how to use network sites), being on a band's "mailing list" meant a physical mailing list.  This was a letter from such a band.  I probably signed up for them just because like everybody else, I wanted to talk to the lady who was holding the clipboard.  And I probably hung on to it with the idea that it would be worth a lot of money if the band got famous.  Dumb on both accounts.

• Photocopied tape covers.  As I've said before, it was convenient growing up in a house that had a photocopier.  I'd often copy tape covers like this, to do with the dubs I'd make.  Of course, there's no need to have these around now, when I can find an print the thing in color with a tiny bit of internet searching.  I do remember returning these two tapes, back when you could do so.  I need the money.

• "Meat Bob" ad.  No, they weren't a band.  This was an add for an album from comedian Bobcat Goldthwait.  What was it doing in a metal magazine?  I don't know, but that's where they placed it, in Circus magazine.  Actually, this ad itself wasn't the clutter.  It was from a small stack of other metal magazines I had saved from the 80s.  My girlfriend, being a fan of the genre, immediately took them and has since been searching through them.  I didn't argue.  They were out of my junk pile now.

• Zoomed photocopies of the cover to Iron Maiden's "Piece of Mind" album.  This was BEFORE we had the luxury of a home photocopier.  This was at my Dad's office.  I was there that day for some reason, and decided to have fun photocopying the cover to the tape I had with me, and playing with the zoomed sizes.  I think that's where I learned first hand that zooming in decreases the quality.  Who knows how much of his toner I wasted that day.

Thoughts back on the PMRC

"What's the PMRC?" my young girlfriend asked as she looked though the box of saved clutter.  I didn't have to look over my shoulder to know what she had found.  My friend Frank made dozens of these stickers and plenty of variations of them.  They're irrelevant now, and probably wouldn't stick to anything anyway.  But I can at least bring up the topic before throwing them away.

The Parents Music Resource Center was a group started by Tipper Gore and the "Washington Wives".  It all started when Tipper overheard her daughter listening to Prince's Purple Rain album, particularly one line from one track ("Darling Nikki") about "masturbating with a magazine".  When Frank made these stickers, this was back in the late 80s when talk had been going around about another kind of sticker: official "Parental Advisory" sticker to be stuck on albums that offended white parents. Despite myself and other hopeful teens getting signatures and petitions against this, obviously the "Parental Advisory" stickers won in the end.

So back in those days, the fears of course were that if you listened to an album from the likes of Prince or Iron Maiden, you'd grow up to be a deviant, drug-taking, devil-worshiping, commie-loving, evil entity.  And there were supposedly all those subliminal messages to deal with too.  Then later the rap genre got its share of bashing too with the whole 2 Live Crew incident.  I think the absurdity reached a climax with the Judas Priest trials.  Some time after that we went into the Gulf War, which became the new distraction and scapegoat for the world's problems, and hype over the music subsided.

But back in the mid 80s there were the PMRC hearings.  Standing up against them were Dee Snider, Frank Zappa, and John Denver (yes, John Denver, who got a lot of unfair shit in his day for his song "Rocky Mountain High").  You can find lots of clips on YouTube of the PMRC hearings, but here's one summary segment from a heavy metal documentary.

Thanks for the memory, clutter.  Now you stickers can join the PMRC itself, in my trash can.

Ronnie James Dio, RIP

I'm still in shock over hearing the news that my favorite rock star has passed away.

First I got a text message at 2:00 AM, who said there were rumors on the internet.  I didn't want to believe anything unless I heard it from an official source.  The rumors were finally put to rest from an official source.  But then an official source confirmed that Ronnie James Dio did in fact pass away around 10:45 AM PST today.  I called a friend of mine who is a reliable source (he knows Ronnie personally; they've been close friends for years) and he confirmed it too.

When people say that they like certain entertainers or celebrities, what they really mean is that they like their work. They're in love with the character that the entertainer has created. There's nothing wrong with that. I do absolutely love the work of Ronnie James Dio, which many don't realize spans 50 years. And I do love the commanding stage character that he made for himself. But I do feel I can say that I met Ronnie enough times to really like him as a person. Unlike countless other rock stars I could mention, Ronnie would always be sober, intelligently spoken, and very down-to-earth. He cared a lot about his fans, and didn't leave until he finished signing every autograph.

I got to meet a lot of other fans though alt.music.dio (that's a newsgroup, for those of you who don't remember the internet before graphical web browsers). We networked and even made some very lasting friendships together. I first got to meet Ronnie on the night before Thanksgiving, 1996. That kicked off a number of years of die-hard Dioship, as a groups of us would follow him around on every east coast show, if not every show in the country and beyond.

I can't say I have many regrets though. I'm so glad that I made the effort to see him live and meet him in person so many times. I'll have many, many great memories of seeing him from the front rows of a concert, whether it was in a tiny club or in an arena.  I'm beyond happy that he reunited with Black Sabbath (a dream come true, since I didn't get to see them in 1992) and they put out at least one album. To me, he will always be that "Man on the Silver Mountain".