New Year discoveries...of crap.
Just a few oddities recently discovered and thrown away. File these under "Why Do I Still Have This?":
- Teas. About a year ago, I had a horrible cough that just would NOT go away. I tried everything. Nothing worked. Though one thing I tried were some herbal teas. They didn't really work either, but strangely enough I became an avid tea drinker. I had the steeping infusers, and all that jazz. I'd hate to think that I could ever become one of those new-age tea snobs in the office who'd spend 5-10 making one mug of god damn tea, but I seemed to be headed that way. Anyway, not knowing much about teas or their weights, I bought a lot. Then my girlfriend did the same the next time I got sick. So now I had all of this stuff.
Do I REALLY need 8 different kinds of teas? No. Besides, I don't know what the shelf life of tea is, but this stuff was getting old. I finished off or threw away the stuff I wasn't really using, and kept the rest. Now I can finally close my cabinet. I did also find a lot more use for these once I bought my electric ice tea brewer. But if they're all still here a year from now, something is wrong!
- Broken storage bins. Or trays, or whatever word we could call these things that resemble square laundry baskets for midgets. They were used in the bottom of my closet for a long time, until I finally fixed up that area. And they're broken. Could they really "hold" anything at this point that couldn't be thrown into a box? No. Auf wiedersehen, bins!
- Expired Juices. One huge bottle of cranberry juice, and another huge bottle of a "key lime" mix. Actually, the second hadn't even expired yet, much to my amazement. I can't imagine what sort of shelf life it had. However, it had acquired a huge block in ice inside from being at the back of my fridge, and had some sort of green muck at the bottom. Screw it, I ain't taking chances! Good bye!
- Lotions. I shave with an electric razor. I think I've only shaved once or twice without one. So one of the toiletries I've always used is an "aftershave". And I use that word in quotes, because I'm not talking about some scented splash that you're supposed to put on on your face for the sole sake of smelling nice. No, I'm talking about aftershave LOTIONS, which alleviate electric razor burn, and may or may not have the added benefit of an added scent.
So the first of these is a really cheap one from the drug store, under its own label. Just barely a step up from Aqua Velva. Rather musky smelling. The second is an expensive one I bought at the mall some time ago. It has served me well, but one time on vacation the tube split. I repaired it using some tape, but it's still certainly not air-tight. Still some of it left, too. But I'm throwing these out, because I found something new and better. After trying a dozen little samples that my girlfriend got me at some ritzy place at the mall, I found one that did the job well, and now I have a full bottle of that. No need for the others now.
Oh yeah, and as for the scents, here's a funny thing I've learned in life about men's colognes and aftershaves. When it comes to what women like, preferences are widely different. For example, I've known some women who were driven absolutely wild by cheap stuff like Old Spice, and others who found the scent to be repulsive. Typically, a lot of the repulsiveness came from the idea that wearing an old cologne makes the man smell like the woman's father or grandfather. I'm sure there's some related psychology going on here with both the Old Spice lovers and Old Spice haters, but that's beyond the scope of this particular blog.
And if there are any teenagers reading this (though I doubt it), here's a tip: don't wear your dad's cologne to the big date. You'll smell like your dad, not you. And don't think that adding more cologne increases the chances of getting laid. It can backfire easily.
"You don't get laid with green shit that comes out of a bottle. The only smell that's gonna help you get laid might be your own natural scent. You have pheromones. It's a secondary sex characteristic."
- George Carlin
"It is inconceivable to think that human beings could be the only creatures without appealing sexual odors, yet odors that originate in the sexual parts are considered anathema by a large majority of them. [...] Perfumes should be used OVER existing odors, not in place of them; and the perfume you choose should bring OUT your own odor, not neglect it. [...] I cannot stress enough that ANY odor, if strong enough, becomes unpleasant. The most pleasing scents, when intensified enough, become noxious; and conversely, many of the most alluring scents are reductions of otherwise objectionable odors."
- Anton Szandor LaVey, "The Satanic Witch"
