"I hate dusting. you pull out all that brick-a-brack, *cough* *cough*. I've got a better way to dust. You just duct tape the small shit down, then fire up that leaf-blower..."
- Tim Allen doing stand-up, 1989
My mother somehow managed to keep a frighteningly dust-free house. Yet we never, ever had a feather duster. I think she just regularly came by with the lemon-scented Pledge spray and a rag.
Like probably all bachelors, I certainly have dust in my home. And it's damn annoying at times. But I do get rid of it here and there. I don't let it pile up on the TV or bathroom to the point where it's like mini-golf astro-turf.
Here are my three current anti-dusting tools:
- Sweeping cloths. Ideally, these are supposed to be made for floors. You just attach one to the bottom of a broom mop, and sweep the floor with it. But I've found that they make great dust cloths themselves. Wipe around, and all the dust sticks to the cloth, not your hand. You can do an entire room with just one of these, then throw it out. Simple, clean, efficient.
- Air spray. These are designed with electronic equipment in mind. You can find these at computer and office supply stores. They just blow a super strong gust of air. Besides being good on fragile electronic equipment, I've found it to work well on lampshades and anyplace else where the dust is thin and/or you're dealing with delicate little items too rough to "wipe", like some statues. Probably not as efficient as Tim Allen's leaf blower, but sometimes easier than wiping.
I remember seeing Def Leppard spraying themselves with cans like this backstage, in one of their videos. Guess they work at cooling you down too. Be careful though. I damn near got frostbite on my hand from a direct spray of one of these, back in college when a fraternity brother decided to first "introduce" me to the product.
- Air purifier. I'm sure some people see these things at Brookstone and wonder if they're just over-priced fans made for paranoid yuppies. I'm sure there's some truth in that. But these things do work. You can open it up and look in the filter to see that. Or have the sunlight coming from the window over to your bed, where you can see all of the dust particles in the air. This helps suck 'em away. The one I have (Holmes #HAP412BN) also has an optional switch for positive ions, which balances out the static. And honestly, it works. When you have positive ions in the air, it feels like how it feels outdoors after a huge thunderstorm has passed. This is good in the winter time when things get staticky.
- Static Guard-brand spray. OK, this isn't a "dust" product, but worth mentioning here. Static really builds up here in the winter. This stuff stops my pants from sticking to my legs. I spray some on the chairs once in a while too. Good product.
On a somewhat related note, I've recently been curious about dust mites. Amusing to think that in our very beds, we have the microscopic spider-looking things, eating our dead skin while we roll around in their fecal matter. These products should sponsor me!
Today I went through to do a lot of dusting, just in my bedroom. God damn, I had a lot. Especially in the "storage" areas I don't go to. I also took down my curtains around my bed (I have a huge 4-poster bed with black curtains hanging from the sides) for washing. Frankly, I'm surprised I can still breathe after what I cleaned today.
